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(Terri opens the door, making Malcolm's torrent of abuse audible) YOU'RE A FUCKING PRICK! I need to sleep, I need to eat, occasionally I need to take a dump. Malcolm: Look, people really like it when you go just a bit early! Before you get to the point when they're sitting round in the pub saying "Oh, that fucker's got to go! I hope your blog gets done for libel and you get knobbed in prison by men. I mean, I don't have your education, I don't know what that means. We're in a weird and wonderful world where everything is different! (normal voice) Yeah, well, apart from the charge you're gonna get when I clamp jump leads to your baldy bollocks? You, Julius Nicholson, being of sound mind but with a body that looks like a giant sex toy did knowingly do us up the shit-hole by passing confidential information to the enemy! Ollie: Oh, yeah yeah yeah, oh yeah, "I'm Geoff Average, and I think the same as everybody else cos I'm Mr Average Normal Bloke and everybody thinks like me cos I work in IT, and on the weekends I pop a few pills and do a bit of DJ-ing, y'know, spare cash cos I'm a single mum and I'm a member of the National Trust, I enjoy any sports on TV, anything with Colin Firth, I enjoy domestic violence and sun-dried fucking...karaoke." Not everybody is the same, Glenn! Malcolm: (On the phone, about Abbot) Hi Tom, what can I do for you? Well, I didn't know what he was doing with his flat... That's a joke, by the way, not a very nice one, a nasty one, which masks a lot of very negative feelings about this fucking department. How am I supposed to do my job if I don't know WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! This desire for perfection, but I'm not perfect, I'm just a person right. Just a world of robots in a sort of--it's like a futuristic film. You'd be in your little space station surrounded by obedient androids, like that fucking brushed-aluminium Dan Miller cyberprick! Ollie: (To Phil) I will be so not sorry to not ever have to talk to you again, you massive floppy blonde tit. Malcolm: If you do think about running with this pill story, I'll personally fucking eviscerate you, right? Jamie: (impersonating Julius) Oh, oh, oh, oh, "the actual charge"? Rent is a unique website that allows people to place free profiles on Rent to advertise their friendship.Rent is NOT a dating website, rather it's a website where people can “Rent Your Friendship”.

I want pages four and five to be a timeline of British politics with me at the center looking fucking indispensable and fucking benign. ISRAEL OR SOME BULLSHIT, NOT A FUCKING DOSAC, DIPSHIT, LEGACY-DESTRACTING COCK-UP!

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